How to Date And No Heartache.

Dating can be really hard for some people. Like for example, some would rather skip the dating, courting and engagement and go straight to having the partner of their dreams. Being at a college where many are not "hooking up"  but rather waiting to get married its hard to put in some time and eventually find a girlfriend rather than getting personal with a girl of the bat sexually. I like the relationship attachment model created by Dr. Jon Van Ep and it goes a little like this:

Image result for relationship attachment model

Following this model we can see that the first is Know than Trust, Rely, Commit, and Touch. According to this and getting to know the opposite sex it seems most important is know and lastly touch. So when dating its saying you should Trusting them before you Touch them more.

So where am I going. I will tell you. Heart break sucks and for some of us we dont have to get served divorced papers to know a booboo where its hard to heal. So when were are dating it is best to play it slow and safe and steady. According to the R.A.M model, you dont want to have focus bigger than the other above it but scale your relationship.

Another way to look at getting to know girls (guys) is what is called DTR defining the relationship. So that means when you are looking at the girl you like, and hopefully once you are dong saying a small hello and introduction you move up. The thing about moving up though healthly is DTR-ing  what is between you both. So the girl or guy of you dreams you would ask them about instead of just dating starteding courting (steady dating). And this means you would ask if they feel connected to where they want see each other only (steading date or girlfriend/boyfriend).

If you do not move on the scale above it could effect you with a "booboo" that can be avoided. So also as you move further into the relationship TALK/DEFINE THE CONNECTION. Even though its easy to slide onto friend..and girlfiend, etc. you want define it because one of you could be the one the has a heartbreak.. who knows. If you dont want to follow this well then finding love could be a confusing path and your on your own!

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